You know that feeling, when things seem to be working in a very strange way?
I mean, except when you’re drunk.
To be single again… Breakups are never fun. You know them, you’ve had them.They come for the right reasons, for the wrong reasons and for no reasons at all. And there are a few patterns that everyone seems to follow when it comes to breaking up.
First of all, it’s easier to stomach if it isn’t your fault. Seriously, having to cope with guilt on top of everything is not part of an easy transition. Now, as a woman, pointing the finger and laying blame helps me almost as much as eating chocolates.
Then, you start to notice people again, though crushed and severely emotionally impaired, you can’t help but be curious about the guy that’s looking at you persistently. Also, plans of making up for lost time, or healing your emotional scaring through sex often show up. They hardly ever amount to anything practical.
Then, people tend to fall into drawback. Relationships fall into something habitual after a few months, and coping with the fact that a part of your daily activity is gone can be difficult. You’re thinking of calling him, of trying to stay friends, of being jealous at his new girlfriend. Don’t. The only way to go is forward.
Fresh after a relationship, it’s hard not to think about what the other is thinking and saying about you. I’ve had all sorts, the ones that trashed your very name and the ones that sobbed to your appreciation. This one, i think is probably saying ‘it’s only a rough patch, we’ll pull through it’ That is, if he’s saying anything at all.
The one that gets dismissed usually tends to seek for reasons, and guilty parties other than themselves. They are more often than not, badly mistaken. But hey, why take responsibility, right? After all, if you push the fact that someone else is to blame long and hard enough, people might believe you.
The final stage doesn’t really show up until someone else comes into your life. After serious breakups, making up feels just as if you’re avoiding the fact that you’re done, and most often never gives off the same satisfaction as it did at first. but hey, some do try…
The point? Don’t go in if you can’t stay in. Keep it shallow, if you can, and don’t get involved unless it’s worth it. And from my point of view… sex is sex, and love is for other people.
I don’t believe that there is any one person that is at fault when a relationship fails, but both people have the tendency to point the finger at the other when things go sour. Both parties need to take a real hard look inside at themselves, and the mistakes they may have made.
Sometimes, it’s not anyone’s fault, it’s just a matter of the “wrong time”, for one reason or the other, and sometimes, just because you weren’t right for each other, but that doesn’t make either one of you wrong, or at fault…until you start laying blame. A friend of mine who’s opinion I respect greatly has a saying, “Remember when you are pointing your finger at another, there are three pointing back at you.”
Take my word for it. Even if they have moved on to another person, they are thinking of you, and I believe both parties can’t help but analyse where things went wrong.
Many times people move straight into another relationship, to avoid the pain inside. Thus the term…rebound.
I surely hope you don’t truly believe that sex is sex. Sex is the ultimate expression of your feelings for another, and without that, is just a useless act.
And I truly hope you don’t believe that love is for other people!
Just imagine this for a moment: The ultimate revenge, is being truly happy, and moving on.
In my opinion no “breakup” can breakup the relationship between two souls. I mean that spiritual connection, even that special bond between the two. Once there was something…there alaways will be….but it doesn’t always happen, because it’s hard to stop thinking about the last person who reached your expectations. We can’t always understand ourselves and we make mistakes, hurt people and breakup with them for stupid reasons. I know that some people cant fit togheder and isome can’t, but that mostly happens when the relationship is based only something phisical, without knowing and understanding a person in time…
In my case realationships went wrong because of me, as i never let people to really understand and love me, and this usualy causes a lot of pain and awful fights..as i am ashamed to write here.
On the other hand, ’sex is sex’ is not the solution, as others wrote here, sex is the ultimate expression of the connection between two people. I think you can have good sex with someone only if that person is special in your heart and you two fit togheder. Sex is an art were you need to work with your heart and feelings, it can’t be done with an empty heart, “empty sex” is just movement and nothing more.